General Ambrose Burnside
You know your facial hair is manly when they name a certain type of it after you. General Ambrose Burnside was a politician, inventor, railroad exec, Union general, and the Father of Sideburns.
Whether acting in Magnum PI or Three Men and a Baby, Tom Selleck brought a healthy dose of manly testosterone with that awesome stache of his. Sadly, in 1997 he shaved off his manly nose mane. He kept it off for several years after that. Thankfully, he came to his senses and has since brought it back.
Besides developing biological theories that changed the way humans view themselves and the world, Charles Darwin’s other talent was growing awesome facial hair. Perhaps intent on discovering himself as the the missing link, Darwin grew a beard any ape would envy.
What Manliness list would be complete without an appearance by Teddy Roosevelt? TR was so freaking manly that his mustache could judo chop assailants, and shout “Bully!” at would-be attackers.
For Nietzsche, God may have been dead, but his mustache lives on. In letters unearthed by historians, it was discovered that Nietzsche believed that his mustache made him a superman. While critics laughed at him, looking at this mustache, I think he was on to something.
Fact: Chuck Norris was born with a beard. When doctors tried to shave it, he roundhouse kicked them in the face with his precociously strong baby legs, knocking them all unconscious.
Santa Claus’ beard is iconic. Not only is it a part of his personal brand (so much so that children give it a yank to test a Santa’s authenticity), his beard also has a practical purpose. When you live in the North Pole and fly a sleigh at high altitudes, you need a thick, full beard to keep your face warm and free from wind chapping. Oh yeah, and it’s also magical.